This week I asked my friend to Sam to give me some input on her life as a single mom. I figured that since she has her son half of the week that she’s be able to give some good advice. Regardless, the following post is from her and it touches on various parts of being a single mother. Enjoy her thoughts, they are unique and insightful:

So a lot of people always tell me how hard it must be to be a single parent, and I suppose some people may find it harder than others. I have gotten so much advice from well meaning people in how to raise my son, I always listen but rarely follow it. For me, the way I choose to raise my son has to be my own because in the end I’m his mom and I have to be able to look back say, “yea that was me”, regardless of how he turns out. It’s a day by day process, since this is my first child, I don’t have prior experience in this field. The most basic thing I have to remember is to always put him first, regardless of whether it’s a social situation, family, and even eating. I’m not gonna lie and say dating is the easiest thing to do with a young child, you have to remember that your child is being exposed the people you bring around, good or bad. I try to remember that and do most of my social stuff on the days I don’t have my son, that way I can feel out the situation and if it seems to be working for me I can slowly incorporate my child and the person I am dating. That’s usually the make it or break it time, if they can handle me and my son, then we go from there.

For family situations, and especially my family I have to remember to share him. He’s the only grandson that’s around and so everyone wants time with him. I only have my son half the week, and I try to be fair and split the time with my mom, dad, brother, aunts, uncles etc, and still have time for him for myself. It’s a balancing act, and some days are better than others when it comes to that area. Everyone had designated time with him, usually when I am at work so I don’t have to give up my time with him, it seems to be working out right now.

Eating is something I really love to do, and with everyone else it’s pretty much fend for yourself. But not once you have a child, his needs come before mine. If there’s one piece of cheese left and I’m eating it and he wants it, guess who gets it? Meal times, his plate is made before mine, as long as he has food and has enough to satisfy him and give him the nutrients that he needs to grow, then I’m ready to eat. Now as a lot of people may not know ,is that no matter if you have the exact same thing on your plate as your child, your food will always taste better, it was the same way with my parents. My mom’s soda in a cold glass with ice, always was so much better than my own that came from the same bottle, same ice, same type of glass. It’s just some sort of awesomeness that parenting puts into your food to make it the best thing ever to your child. So many times your plate of food, will become a shared plate of food and theirs will be left untouched. Again, it’s the little sacrifices you make in parenting.

A lot of the things mentioned are the same with a single parent and they are with a house hold with two parents, but a lot of times, that’s the way it is. yes it’s true that I don’t always get that nap in after a long night with a fussy baby, cause my spouse or significant other is there to take care of the baby. It’s also true that sometimes my social calendar is completely booked 3 days of the week and totally empty the other days, and I may miss out on concerts, bbq’s, parties etc. However, one thing I will never miss out on, watching my son grow into an amazing man.